Be the bigger person

If God were easy to follow everybody would be doing it. If God always made you comfortable, if there were never any trials in your life because Of some kind of supernatural intervention there would not be any need for faith. I think that I like that He lets us face difficulty, that our decisions matter and we are made to face the consequences of the decisions that we make both the good and the bad.

It seems to me that today many people think that it is actually good to let themselves off the hook for the things that they do or think. I hear people say things like all ideas are good or that all lifestyle choices are equal. This seems absurd to me. One person says that it is society’s responsibility to take care of everybody and another says that each person is responsible for his own wellbeing. Those are quite opposite and can’t both be true. I know that is a extreme example but it makes the point.

This kind of thing gets truly evil when people think that they ought to be able to get away with stuff but you over there ought to be punished for the same thing. The more polarized we get the more that this mindset seems to rear it’s ugly head.

I know I’m being a little vague here by not pointing out some real world examples but I really want to stay a bit neutral while I think this through. I know that the us and them mentality has always been around I know that. I also know that long ago people were deeply divided by a lot of things that led to very extreme behavior but I thought that perhaps we had outgrown some of the really terrible ideas that had ruled interaction between people. I thought we had learned to be at least civil with each other, that we could share problems and solutions and be able to come to some kind of consensus. But Solomon was right. There really is nothing new under the sun.

So now I need to look into my own life to see if there is any of that in me. I don’t want to be the man that is shouting down somebody for what they did while excusing myself for my own misdeeds. I want to be the man that can listen respectfully to someone that I may disagree with and be able to have a reasonable discussion about it. I don’t want to be the man that looks past someone’s problems because I happen to agree with some of his or her thoughts or ideas. I want to be the man that is able to discern truth but not be filled with hate. I want to be the man that can be persuaded when I am wrong to see the error and make the appropriate change. I want to be the man that will gently but firmly hold fast to those things that I am confident are the truth. I want to be the man that is persuasive not belligerent. Mostly I want to be the man that loving and merciful to those around me wether I agree with them or not.

Lest I am misunderstood let me state that I will not tolerate evil. I do believe that there is real evil in the world and it must be opposed. But I must not allow myself to be evil to oppose it. Opposition must still come from a place of love and yes even mercy.

It is my prayer that after you read this you will join me in this self examination to find the condition of your heart and then follow me and make the commitment to love even those that you find youself opposing.

You’ll never catch up if you don’t get started

As I came to the end of 2017 I checked my stats and saw that during the year I had published 21 blogs. I felt ok about that because when I added that to the rest of the writing that I had done I felt that my output was adequate. But I challenged myself to increase my blog posts to reach a minimum of 30 for 2018. I felt good about that number. It seemed like an achievable goal.

But of course life has its own ideas and they don’t always coincide with mine. So now I find myself in the position of being behind having posted exactly zero blogs for the current year. Looking at my situation I began to despair of posting anything at all. Of course upon further reflection that notion is ridiculous. I have plenty of time to write these short reflections if I do just a little bit better managing my time.

Do you find yourself in a similar spot? Did you tell yourself that you were going to accomplish some goal during this year or month or week or whatever? Maybe you’ve missed the mark so far. I know that I have and Worthless is having a field day with me but as usual Worthwhile has come in with a last minute save and here I sit writing my blog. Post #1 for 2018. At least 29to go right?

Don’t beat yourself for getting behind. Instead set your thoughts on the goal that you originally set and start doing whatever you need to do to move towards it. Goals are a great thing to have. Reaching one will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you towards the next one. Evaluate your goals and make sure that they are reachable. A few posts ago I told you to look to your expectations if you were feeling unhappy. I wanted you to be sure that you were being realistic in them and I want the same thing for you now. Set goals that are reachable in the time frame that you set them in. Then as you reach each one you will feel good about yourself and be in a better state to reach the next one.

If your goal is big then try to break it down into smaller more achievable segments. That way you won’t feel overwhelmed when you think about it. But the most important thing is to get started. If your goal is to be able to ride your bike 20 miles go out ASAP and air up the tires and oil the chain. Then tomorrow put on your helmet and ride around the block. You get the idea.

If you are doing great at reaching your goals that’s awesome please pray for those of us that have struggled so far. If you are one of the struggling then my prayer is that you will see this as the encouragement you are looking for and I further pray that you will do what ever you need to do to start reaching your goals. Remember that you set them for a reason and the reason was probably important.

I can get caught up and so can you.

don’t let Worthless win

Worthless oh Worthless why do you vex me

Why do I let you hold me back

A voice in my head mighty and strong

Quick to point out all that I lack

Worthless oh Worthless I hate what you say

You’re downbeat and hateful

Each and every day

But I continue to listen

Although I know better

Your trap is perfect

You know me to the letter

Worthless the lion Worthwhile a sigh

How do I feed the good voice inside

Worthless oh Worthless you think that you’ve won

Worthwhile bounce back and the battle’s begun

How can a sigh beat a lion you ask

The sigh’s not alone he has help with the task

The helps name is Jesus Savior and Lord

He wins the battle with just a word

Worthless I’m saved, redeemed, and empowered

Worthless return to your den you’re a coward

I can do all things through Christ he’s my strength

He never gives up He’ll go to any length

Worthwhile he listens and changes a sigh to a roar

He listens to Jesus and wants to know more

We open our bible our mind and our heart

Me and Worthwhile we make a new start

It happened for me it can it can for you too

Jesus can make all things brand new

I have a feeling that we all struggle with inner voices that tell us we are failures or we are inadequate in some way. This has been an ongoing struggle in my life. I find that when I’m feeling bad about myself that it impacts just about every area of my life. Relationships feel strained or empty, pleasant things seem to lose their appeal and tasks become harder. When this happens if I don’t become aware of it soon enough it feeds itself and becomes stronger and stronger, continually getting harder to bear.

I thank God for the Holy Spirit who will always remind me that the failure Worthless says I am is a lie. I thank Him for the Word that speaks truth to me and teaches me who I really am and what I am truly capable of accomplishing.

It’s a cliche I know but breakthroughs only come after you hit an obstacle. So when you feel disempowered or out of favor, when your prayer life seems listless don’t quit. This is the time when your Worthless is pressing in, press back. Your breakthrough will come and you’ll look back at that previous time and all you’ll see will be the broken bits of what ever it was that was holding you down.

The Bible tells us that every battle is spiritual. I believe this is true. If you are going to win spiritual battles you are going to need spiritual weapons and defenses. You need a robust prayer life, the Word of God, and the indewlling power of the Holy Spirit. If you are a believer you already have the latter of those if you’re not winning your battles go and get the rest. You never have to fight alone.

I pray for all of you my friends that you get this. The Word tells over and over that God will never leave you to fight alone. He leads you forward, He’s got your back. You are fully equipped. Go fight, go be victorious, give glory to God.



Be the answer to someone’s prayer

Do you ever think about how God answers our prayers? I know that I do. I do so because I get asked quite often to pray for or about a person or situation. After I pray for something or someone I will monitor the situation or circumstance as at I am able because I really like to know how my prayers are being answered. I think that is reasonable and I think also that lots of other people do,the same thing. We all ought to be looking for our prayers to be answered because that is one of the best ways we can build up our witness.

God uses people to answer prayers.

A lot of times my prayers are for people or situations that are far away from me and so my prayers are often a request that God move someone “over there” to act on behalf of whatever I am praying about. It occurs to me that there are likely people far from me making the same kind of prayers about people or situations near to me. In that case there is a possibility that God may try to move me to be the answer to that prayer.

God uses people to answer prayers because it build faith and testimony in three different people. In the one praying, the one answering, and the one for whom the prayer was offered.

For the believer being a co-laborer with God in these situations is privelage that is not to be taken lightly. Being an answer to prayer may take courage or boldness. It may include the possibility of persecution or danger. It could expose you to difficult circumstances. It could even lead to emotion or spiritual stress. But along with these come certain blessing and great joy a well.

If you want to be used by God as the answer to someone else’s prayer (and you should) there are a few things you’d better know because while He is sovereign and can use anyone he prefers to use the qualified. So what makes one qualified?

First you must be available. If you are self absorbed paying attention only to yourself and your concerns it will be hard for you to be used purposefully by God. Selfishness is a barrier to a meaningful prayer life. It is something that God dispises. Paul reminds us in Romans 12 that we are to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice as our duty to God. We are to lay ourselves on the altar and by doing so we become ready for his use. The word to use here is holy, that is set aside for his purposes. Again Paul says in his letter to Timothy that a vessel that is to be used for honorable purposes must be clean.

Second you must be listening. God speaks to us in any number of ways so in order to be used we ought to be paying close attention to Him. We need to be praying. Remember that prayer is a two way conversation with God. All too often we get so caught up in our requests that we forget to be listening. We forget to pause and give Him a chance to say something to us. He also speaks to,us through His word so keep reading scripture. This is the best way to understand His mind and ways. He will also speak to you through the people around you so pay attention and be sensitive when talking to others. Be a good listener.

Finally you must be willing. God is a gentleman. He won’t force you to do things. He may make it difficult to refuse. He may use circumstances or hardship to help you understand His will but you always get the option to opt out. Like Malachi told Ester you if you refuse God will find another way for His will to be achieved but you will miss out on the blessings that would have been yours.

What an honor we have as believers to be workers in God’s kingdom. Don’t be so self-interested that you miss the opportunities out there to be His answer to someone’s plea for help. Don’t miss the blessings that are to be yours because you are unavailable or unwilling to answer the call when it comes to you. Your testimony is your best witness and your testimony comes by answered prayers.



expectations = pain

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness and of course it’s opposite unhappiness. I’m interested in writing about this because I think that these two things are a parallel to the twin forces that battle constantly in my mind. I am referring of course to Worthless and Worthwhile. I general I would say that the former equates to unhappiness while the latter to happiness. My mind wanders as I consider this idea and I wonder just what does Worthless do to my thinking that would lead me be unhappy. As I thought about this one word kept coming back to me over and over again. Expectations. Let’s explore this together ok?

Just what is an expectation anyway? It’s a strong belief that something will happen or that someone will or should achieve something. I was preaching out of the book of Romans a few weeks ago and this very thing came up. I asked people to think about something that would immediately set them off. What button could be pushed that would immediately make them angry or upset. As an example I told them that I expect my devices to function all the time every time and that when they don’t I find it very difficult to keep my composure, especially if I am alone. For example if I want to weed eat in my yard and I can’t get the weed eater to start I will have a temper tantrum and rage quit my chores completely. I expect the device to work and I expect to be able to use it to complete my chore. An unfulfilled expectation has altered my mood for the worse. A silly example but you get the point.

I think it is quite natural to feel disappointed when your expectations are not met, and I’m not suggesting that expectations are in and of themselves bad or to be avoided. In the above example my expectation was quite realistic and pretty much in my control. The true danger lies in expectations that are either unrealistic or out of your control or possibly both. When your expectations fall into these categories you really are asking for trouble. I want to focus right now on what I think are the places where these expectations are the most damaging to our overall state of unhappiness. That is in our relationships with ourselves or with others.

I’ve established that I think failed expectations open the door to unhappiness. I think that it follows that expectations that are unrealistic are by definition going to be unfulfilled. The question now is how can we apply this knowledge to our lives so that we can avoid this source of unhappiness.

Be honest with yourself. If you are unhappy check your expectations to see if they are realistic. Are you asking to much of yourself or of those around you? Are you responding to failed expectations with mercy and forgiveness or with anger and frustration? Do you have the same feelings over the same failed expectations over and  answers to these questions will help you understand better your condition and help you put together a plan to regain happiness.

There is one more thing I’d like to tell you about today. Definitions usually include a handy list of synonyms and expectations is no exception. There are two that I’d like to focus on right now: assumption and hope. Both synonyms for expectations and at the same time wildly different. One of them is toxic and the other a source of life. When you assume something you are laying claim to it. You are taking ownership when it’s not yours. I have made assumptions in my life often to my detriment. Hope on the other hand is something that is nearly essential to life. Hopelessness is one of the worst places a person can find themself.

If your expectations are founded in assumptions you will probably find yourself disappointed more often than not but when you hope even if you fail you can continue on because hope is one of those things that gives life and strength rather than sap it away.

I pray that you will keep your expectations realistic. I pray that you will face failure with mercy and forgiveness. Finally I pray that you will live a life of hope and leave your assumptions behind.


short answer to a hard question

I saw a meme the other day that made me stop and think. It went something like this.

The key to happiness

Let those around you do what they need to so they can be happy

Do for yourself what you need to and be happy

Mind your own business 

This provoked some thought in me. Some questions came to mind. What does this mean? Can it really be this simple? Where does unhappiness come from? What do you mean “mind your own business”? I want to pick at this a little and see what bubbles out.

What does this mean? To begin with I think it means that happiness is individualized. That happiness is a state that each person must decide for him or herself. I don’t know if any two people would give the same answer to the question “what is happiness”? In broad strokes you might find similarities but the particulars would likely be different possibly very different.

As a simple example there are many people that you could play hip hop music for and it would please them and make them feel happy. I would not be one of those people. But who am I to judge somebody because they have different tastes than I do. If someone goes against your preferences and it makes you unhappy you’re the one that needs to make some adjustments. It’s ok to dislike a particular thing but don’t let that ok dislike to crossover into dislike of a person.

Most of the last few chapters of Romans is devoted to these issues. Basically (very basically) Paul tells us that in regards to unsure things don’t argue with people. Further don’t let your differences in these matters lead to judgement.

Where does unhappiness come from? This is a loaded question. In the context of this particular writing I would say it comes from a couple of things. Maybe in another blog I’ll get more deeply into the idea of unhappiness, what it is, what to do about it.

Two things come to mind in regards to this particular meme however. First is unmet expectations or to high of expectations. The second is comparison. I can’t tell you which is worse because both are Spirit crushing and will lead to a state of unhappiness.

Probably the most damaging expectation is expecting someone to be like you. Yet I think it is the habit of the unhappy person to do just that. Expecting someone to think like you, or agree with you, or even like you is a toxic place to put yourself. It is an easy trap to fall into though so be wary of it. If there are people in your life that “make me unhappy” maybe it’s because you expect them to be like you instead of letting them be like themselves. There is only one you after all.

Comparision is the other road that will lead to unhappiness. We’ve all heard the old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. That is a warning about the danger of comparing yourself to somebody else. Remember that to a lot of other people you are the other side. This is especially true now in the age of social media. We get to peek into people’s lives and see just how awesome they are forgetting that peeking rarely tells the whole story.

Mind your own business is probably pretty good advice. Jesus tells Peter to mind his own business and follow his own instructions. Paul repeatedly tells us to mind our own business and live peaceably with each other. We are warned over and over about the danger of gossip and meddling in the affairs of others.

Are you unhappy? If not great go live your life you are blessed. If you are have you done any of the things above? Are you punishing yourself with impossible expectations? Do you compare yourself to idealized versions of others around you?

It is my prayer that you realize that real happiness begins with loving yourself. Be your own best friend.