I had it upside down

Wasted time equals a neglected page. Never thought I would admit something like that. It’s been said to me many times throughout my life but somehow I seem to get by. But I’ve had some time to really reflect this past week or so and I’ve learned a few things about myself that aren’t very flattering.

Toss in the topics I’ve been preaching on the last few weeks and oh boy.

Let’s start by saying that self-reflection has never been my strongest trait. I tend to find what I like and stick to it. I’m not saying that I’ve never had a wake up moment but they are pretty rare. It’s easier for me to slide into the sin of pride than I’d like.

I take a lot of things in my life for granted and if those granted things go away I have a powerful tendency to turn my back on them. New things will come right? But what if I’m wrong? My strategy seemed to work for me. What if I had done things differently?

I know it’s a waste of time to dwell on the past. But what if it’s not?

If you look over my old posts you’ll see two characters pop up a lot.

Worthless

Worthwhile

I wrote about my struggle with these two and which was winning. I think my struggle is real but my analysis flawed. Let me explain briefly as an intro.

I always thought that Worthwhile ought to win but it was my pride that made me feel Worthwhile. Getting knocked down a peg or two and suddenly I’m Worthless and fighting to regain my stubborn pride, thinking I’m winning.

Sometimes I’m a moron.

Father God, all praise to You who created me. Forgive my sin of pride. Bless my mother who bore me, bless my father too. Bless my children with my secret hope for them. Bless my wife who loves me in spite of my failures. Remove my pride even if it hurts. I yield to you. Let Worthless win. Amen

More to come